If you and your partner have been together for a while, you probably recognize that your relationship could sometimes use some spicing up. In the beginning of a relationship, things often times run much smoother because there is freshness to your attraction to one another. Although you probably still have strong feelings for each other, things can start to become slightly different and challenging with passing time. This might require relationship counseling. Even if you don’t have any problems with your relationship, you could always make your relationship even better. We have some relationship tips for you in this article, so keep reading.
Keep your love alive
In the beginning of your relationship, you might feel that your love has a magical quality, which experts say lasts for approximately 18 months of a relationship. According to recent studies conducted by a biological anthropologist Helen Fisher and psychologist Bianca Acevedo, it is possible to keep this love alive for a much longer period of time.
A study was conducted with several groups of married couples and unmarried couples of different age groups that had been together for an average of seven months. There were also groups of older married couples in their fifties, who had been married for an average of 20 years. The brains of these people were scanned after showing pictures of their lovers. Both the young groups and old couple groups showed the same levels of chemical activities in their brains. However, there was a major difference in brain activity between younger couples and older couples. The region in our brain that deals with anxiety did not become active among the older couples. Rather they were calm. On the other hand, younger couples showed high levels of anxiety associated with love.
Follow basic relationship rules
If you have found the “right person” and are thinking about turning your relationship into a long term one, you might need to look into the basics of the healthy relationship.
Rule #1 Honesty:
Honesty and trust are the very basics of any long term relationship. Trust can only be gained through honesty.
Rule #2 Make a mental shift from “me” to “we”
Once you get into a long term relationship, you will need to make minor adjustments in your lifestyle. Remember that everything that you do will affect both of you. Give your relationship priority and work on it as a team.
Rule # 3 Value each other’s interests
Learn about the person you are building a long term relationship with. Inquire out about each other’s interests more. What does the person like to do? Is there anything that you both could enjoy together and can enjoy often? Do you both enjoy fishing, going to the ball game, or watching a movie or TV together at home? On the other hand, your partner’s interests may not interest you at all, which is fine. However, it is important to respect each other’s interests.
Rule #4 learn to communicate better
Both men and women communicate defiantly, and you could save yourself loads of trouble if you understand how your partner communicates. I will show you what I mean. Here are some stereotypical scenarios:
1. Men inform women connect: When men communicate, they have a clear purpose. If there is no information or purpose involved, there is no need for talking. Women on the other hand, talk to connect and to feel close. They also let their feelings out more easily and want to share their feelings more often. On the contrary, when men come home from work, they can go straight to watching TV. Women, however, want to talk about their day. Men will often times ask, why is she telling me all of this? Likewise, women could be thinking, why does my husband never talk about his day? For women, conversation is an act of sharing.
2. Men seek solution while women seek compassion: Men don’t always talk about their problems with others unless they think that the other person has a solution. When a woman has a problem she could be talking about her problem to others for validation and understanding. So if a woman is talking about her problems, offer her compassion first, and then the solution. On the other hand, if a man talks to you about his problems, don’t just say “I know how you feel” or I’ve had the same problem.” Rather, offer a solution.
3. Women hint men ask: It seems like women expect men to read their minds. A woman will not always say what she wants. On the contrary, when men want something, they ask for it with direct requests. Women often times behave this way to please others and put the priorities of other people above their own. Also,women are less direct when asking for what they want. For example, if you are on a road trip, instead of saying “let’s stop and eat something because I am hungry,” they will often ask “are you hungry?”
4. Men compartmentalize while women look at the whole picture: Men separate everything. Whether it be mental or emotion or involves work, family, relationships, it is all separate. Women connect all aspects of their lives, so if she keeps bringing the past into her conversation, it’s because that’s how her mind works; women connect many little pictures into the bigger picture.
Although these are some very basic guidelines, every individual is different and may communicate differently. It is therefore best to clarify communications before reacting to anything based on assumptions.
Rule #5: Find things to do together:
You can bond together better if you can find things that you both enjoy doing together. It could be as simple as enjoying morning coffee or going to the basketball game together. Make a date night together, and bring some variety into your relationship.
Long term relationships have many benefits. Studies have shown that it will lower your stress level, while keeping you healthier and happier. However, keeping your relationship healthy and happy over time could require substantial work. Most of the time, it can be achieved through teamwork.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article and found some value in it. We’d appreciate your comments or a few tips of your own. Please don’t forget to share.
Source: Balanced Life Team